Slow Fade

I visited a friend in prison yesterday.

He used to work with me at The Light FM as a DJ, was active in his church, in the community, had a wife & two children, and he loved the Lord. Last January, high on Crack, he snapped and attacked someone he loved with a hammer to get more drug money – and today he is doing his time at SCI.

We spent 90 minutes talking yesterday – thankfully face to face in the same room, unlike the set up in the movies where you speak on a phone from opposite sides of the glass. He told me that prison saved his life. And he shook his head as he still tries to understand how he ended up there.

A few years earlier, he was making great money and helped supply the steel for the building he was now incarcerated in. But even then his life was in a slow fade.

I was moved by his story because I know about slow fades. The second glance. The what-if. Mine caused a ton of hurt, a lost reputation, and scattered my friends. But as I sat in prison, listening to my friends story – I realized how easily I could have been the one receiving the visit.

My friend has used his time in prison wisely, completing his bachelor’s degree – getting counseling – etc. But more importantly, he has dealt head on with his addictions and God has revealed to him so many things about sin and its consequences. He has a new life ahead of him. His eyes were clear, his voice strong, even as he spoke about his personal failings.

There’s a strength that comes from confessing your failings and weaknesses to a friend. There’s a danger – a big one – to those who pretend they don’t have failings and weakness. It’s part of the slow fade.

I prayed with my friend before I left for home, and he returned to his cell. And I asked him to pray for me. He may be behind bars but he is as free as I have ever seen him. He encouraged me…challenged me, and reminded me to step back and examine my life. Because, the dangerous thing about the slow fade is you don’t see it until it’s dark.

“It’s a slow fade when you give yourself away
It’s a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It’s a slow fade, it’s a slow fade”
(Casting Crowns – Slow Fade)

A Straw Man.

I am fairly confident that men are born without the appropriate gene to properly insert a straw into a Capri Sun without puncturing the wrong side of the pouch. 

Blogging

I just renewed the domain www.billsammons.com.  And since I am paying for it, I figured I may as well start producing content for it.

Actually, my decision to start blogging again goes deeper than that.  Many things have changed in the 18-months since I last posted.  I miss writing, and I miss having an outlet for some thoughts and opinions that don’t ‘fit’ on our daily radio program.

So…here we go.

A new name.  A new commitment to write and post more on this page.

I look forward to your comments.

Bill

From John Eldredge

Until We Are Broken, Our Lives Will Be Self-Centered

Monday, August 30, 2010

True strength does not come out of bravado. Until we are broken, our life will be self-centered, self-reliant; our strength will be our own. So long as you think you are really something in and of yourself, what will you need God for? I don’t trust a man who hasn’t suffered; I don’t let a man get close to me who hasn’t faced his wound. Think of the posers you know-are they the kind of man you would call at 2:00 A.M., when life is collapsing around you? Not me. I don’t want clichés; I want deep, soulful truth, and that only comes when a man has walked the road I’ve been talking about. As Frederick Buechner says,

To do for yourself the best that you have it in you to do-to grit your teeth and clench your fists in order to survive the world at its harshest and worst-is, by that very act, to be unable to let something be done for you and in you that is more wonderful still. The trouble with steeling yourself against the harshness of reality is that the same steel that secures your life against being destroyed secures your life also against being opened up and transformed. (The Sacred Journey)

Only when we enter our wound will we discover our true glory. As Robert Bly says, “Where a man’s wound is, that is where his genius will be.” There are two reasons for this. First, the wound was given in the place of your true strength, as an effort to take you out. Until you go there you are still posing, offering something more shallow and insubstantial. And therefore, second, it is out of your brokenness that you discover what you have to offer the community. The false self is never wholly false. Those gifts we’ve been using are often quite true about us, but we’ve used them to hide behind. We thought that the power of our life was in the golden bat, but the power is in us. When we begin to offer not merely our gifts but our true selves, that is when we become powerful.

(Wild at Heart , 137-38)

There’s More to This Life.

America Needs A Drug Problem.

Why I hate politics.

From Jud Bennett’s Coastal Conservative Network email blast:

Dear Friends,

Enclosed below is the article in today’s (April 18th-Sunday) News Journal reported by Ron Williams about an alleged incident between RNC Chairman, Mike Steele and Congressional candidate Glen Urquhart. Also a statement is enclosed as to what actually did happen provided to me by Kim Hoey Stevenson who is Glen Urquhart’s Press Secretary. Folks, I am many different things to many people, but one thing I am to everybody is that I am honest.

Although I disagree with Vance Phillips and Urquhart on the appearance of an impropriety issue, there is absolutely no way that I will ever malign a candidate with false information or a blatant misrepresentation. Kim Stevenson and her husband Dave are personal friends of mine. They were there and witnessed the whole event. Knowing them as I do there is no way they would lie to me. Therefore, I have to say that I believe the News Journal article to be false and should not have been printed. Somebody definitely presented a malicious prevarication to Ron Williams, because he told me he verified the story from two different and reliable sources.

Please read the NJ article below that was in today’s newspaper and then Kim’s explanation next. Thank you kindly. As always your comments are welcome.

Respectfully Submitted,

JUDSON Bennett-Coastal Network

FROM NEWS JOURNAL-RON WILLIAMS TODAY:

Urquhart campaign has issues

“Besides the recent ridiculous revelation that Sussex County Council president Vance Phillips is a paid consultant for the campaign of congressional candidate Glen Urquhart, there’s another tidbit concerning an apparent run-in between Urquhart and Republican National Chairman Michael Steele.

According to Republican sources both here and in Washington, Urquhart’s recent visit to the national headquarters resulted in a chance hall meeting between the two.

Urquhart apparently had an issue with Steele and a slight physical pushing incident ensued that required Steele’s security force to restrain Urquhart.

There was also a correspondence to Delaware Republicans after Urquhart and Phillips visited the Congressional Election Committee seeking financial help. Whatever the discussion, the result was an e-mail asking Delaware Republican leaders, “Where did you find these guys?”

FROM KIM STEVENSON FOR THE URQUHART CAMPAIGN:

—– Original Message —–

From: Kim

To: Judson Bennett-Coastal Network

Sent: Sunday, April 18, 2010 1:20 PM

Subject: special for you

“Here is exactly what happened.

Glen was in the RNC building waiting for a member of his party to catch up on our way to a meeting with members of the National Republican Congressional Committee when Michael Steele walked by. Glen called out to him in greeting, he turned and came over. Glen reminded Chairman Steele of the fundraisers Glen had for Steele in his home when Glen lived in McClean, Va. Chairman Steele acknowledged those meetings at Glen’s house and welcomed Glen to the building. Glen informed Steele that he was running for Congress and was hoping the RNC would reciprocate the help Glen has given in the past. Steele said he was sure the people at the NRCC would help us get the campaign going, smiled and shook hands. Steele then shook hands with the other members of Glen’s group, who included Vance Phillips, Dave Stevenson and Kim Stevenson.

Steele then continued on his way, alone (as he had been the whole time),  and we went on our way to a meeting in the building. That’s about as exciting as the whole thing got.

There were no security guards, no pushing, no shoving – sorry, nothing rumor worthy at all.

We appreciate the impartial and fact checking stance the Coastal Conservative Network is taking.”

Sincerely,

Kim

Kim Stevenson

Communications Director

Urquhart for Congress

www.Glen4Liberty.com

302-588-2760

A Guest Post.

(This is hilarious.  PS- I am the Bill mentioned below)

The Best Valentine’s Gift EVER

By B.A.Timmons

Text messaging suits me perfectly.  I take pleasure in the short, to the point conversations, which can be ended at any moment by either party.  And I enjoy them in the midst of a work day when I am normally working alone.  One day, while working on our shed at home, I took a picture and sent it to a friend of mine with the caption “Our shed taking shape.” This is the shed we had been intending to build for a long 9 years.

I did not hear from my friend that day, so I sent him another text the following day.  “Did you get the picture of my shed?  No Comment?  This is important artist stuff.”  The artist comment referred to a story I had written about the circumstances involving the beginnings of this particular shed, with which Joe was familiar.

The shed is handsome, resembling our Cape Cod style house in miniature.  He responded “Now is this a shed or your new studio?”

Joe must have had a burst of inspiration about the shed’s use.  I responded “Never thought about a studio.  Awesome idea.  Can you go to bat for me with my wife?

No response… So I added “You should strike now.  She is sick and her defenses are down.”

Joe responded “This is all you, man”.  Great, a spineless wimp of a friend.

“I am a brother in need of a man space.  Can’t you feel my pain?”

All I got was an “Amen”.  Joe was not going to come through for me.  I would have to go a different route.  I took another picture of the shed, and wrote my pal Bill “I am building this shed for Tina.  I think it should be my office.  I need a godly friend to convince her.  Can I count on you?

Bill, unlike spineless Joe, came through for me, in an unexpected sort of way.  “I got your back. (But can’t you share it?)”

“Compromise?  What are you, new school?”

Then Bill had his own burst of inspiration.  “Is this her Valentine’s gift?  You are such a romantic.”

Just what I needed, a wise guy.  Hey buster, maybe this WAS my Valentine’s gift.  Well, I hadn’t intended it that way before, but now that he mentioned it, it was worth considering.  Regardless, I didn’t appreciate the insinuation about my abilities in the romantic department.  I shot back “You hurt my feelings.”

“What?!  I was complimenting you!  I was only going to take my wife away for the weekend to a nice hotel, dinner and spa.  You are way more creative.”

Hmm.  I like this guy.  He is on a wise train of thought.  I could do without my man space.  May as well pick his brain for some more information.  “Oh, so I don’t need to buy flowers?”

“No way.  And trust me.  Any woman would prefer a shed over chocolate.”  Bill was really on to something. But I may be able to improve on his ideas.

“I think I will throw in fifty year shingles as icing on the cake.”

End of conversation.  What more can a man ask for than friends like this?